You’ve just tied the knot. Get ready for some difficult emotions. Planning ahead can be a challenge, and we are here to help you improve your odds of flourishing in the first year of your new union and beyond.
The last thing that you should be thinking about is divorce, right? Wrong. Being aware of the problems that lead to divorce and preparing to prevent those issues from developing early in your marriage greatly reduce the chances of your dream marriage ending in divorce. A successful courtship is only the beginning. A successful union requires on-going investment. If you find yourself taking your relationship for granted, that is a red flag.
Is it too early in the relationship?
It’s never too early to work on your marriage. Couples who divorced within the first two years of marriage showed signs of disillusionment within the first two months of their marriage.1 It’s often reported that nearly one in two marriages in the US ends in divorce. Ignoring such sobering statistics is a mistake.
Whether you believe it’s too early in your relationship to discuss certain issues, or you simply prefer to avoid potential conflict, consider the long-term impact of your current actions.
Will your marriage last or end in divorce?
Do you envision growing old with your spouse? At a time when couples should be enjoying their Golden Years together, often relying on combined income, the divorce rate for adults aged 50 and older, has nearly doubled since the 1990s.2
Here are some things you’ll face if you decide to divorce:
1. Financial strain
Your finances will suffer during and after the divorce. According to a 2012 report from the US Government Accountability Office, a woman’s household income fell by an average 41 percent, nearly double the loss men experience, following a divorce.3
2. Emotional pain
The emotional pain can take years to subside. The loss of relationships, dreams and goals accompanies a divorce. Meaningful relationships – friends and family – are made during the marriage and deep bonds may be formed over the years. Most people don’t expect to lose their support system with a divorce, but it happens.
3. Difficulty with children
If you have children, the negative impact on them is significant and difficult to measure. Regardless of your children’s ages, they will be affected by the divorce. Your ability to negotiate and manage negative emotions and situations will greatly determine the outcome for them. In addition to the emotional impact, research indicates that the poverty rate for children in married-couple families is around 8 percent whereas the rate increases to about 35 percent for children in single-parent households.4
Divorce generally occurs because a spouse is tired of dealing with problems in the marriage. The sooner you and your spouse develop healthy communication habits and an agreed upon roadmap to help guide you through stressful times, the better your odds will be for a successful future together. It only requires a small investment in money and time. The average wedding costs $35,329.5 Developing a safety net to prevent divorce is a mere fraction of that cost. Which one do you think is more important?
How to increase your odds of a successful marriage and prevent divorce
Do you want to prevent needless conflict and painful heartbreak down the road? It’s not too early.
I’ll help you and your spouse prepare for stressful times and connect with your long-term concerns. Contact me for details on the Newlywed coaching program that blends financial design with communication and negotiation skills. Find out more.